"It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look further than you can see." -Winston Churchill

This entry is long overdue, and for that I apologize. Being home for a month was a great experience for a number of reasons…. For one, it involved cheeseburgers and comfy beds. Obviously, not much could go wrong there. I got to spend much-needed family time and relax with my friends who I missed so much. Being home was indeed wonderful, but I think it was also crucial because I realized something.

I came home to the same house. The same yard. The same old cat (who is somehow

miraculously still alive). The same great friends. The same loving family. But as I spent more and more time at home, there was a feeling deep down that something was off. It was almost like when you wake up from a dream you can’t remember but knowing whatever you forgot about was important. I couldn’t figure it out… until one day I was looking in the mirror brushing my teeth and all of a sudden I knew what it was: I was different. Me. I was what was off. Not in a bad way, but in the way one sees things that makes life look different.

The nagging feeling kept whispering to me, “You’re not done, there’s still more to do.” It was for that reason that getting on a

Christmas shenanigans

plane and coming back to this city wasn’t as scary as it was in August. I knew India had made me stronger, more independent, less naïve, and more capable of understanding how I could help these people I have come to love so much. I am someone different and I didn't notice it until I was in a place that knew me when I was someone else.

So, enough about home… and a little bit more info on what I am doing now.

I knew before I left for Christmas that I wanted a change when I came back from the States. Since I will be here for one full year, I think it would be a shame not to see many different houses that Mother Teresa’s has. Therefore, I am now working at what is called the Dispensary at Daya Dan (yes the special needs home where I used to be. This means I see the boys every day before I head out). The Dispensaries are the clinics inside the different houses of the Missionaries of Charity and are targeted towards aiding the street people. I never ever in a million years thought I could do medical care. Me… the girl who passes out when she sees needles go into skin. But…. I have found that I love the Dispensary. I have been taught how to clean wounds, bandage random infected appendages, organize medicine cabinets, and keep a waiting room from imploding into fist fights. Also, and possibly regrettably, I have seen first hand infestations of pinworms and hookworms. That was a rough, rough day...

I love this change because that means I am seeing the medical side to Mother Teresa’s and it is growing me in new ways. Maybe someday I will get over my needle phobia. They

Dan falling asleep at the Dispensary

key word there is MAYBE.

Now… to talk about a difficult decision I recently came to. I will not be returning to New Light, and this was a decision that took me two months to make. New Light is wonderful and the children have captured my heart. However, I have known for some time that my volunteering there has run its course. Last “semester” of my stay in Kolkata, I realized that it was incredibly hard to volunteer at two physically demanding places. I was at Mother Teresa’s from 7:30-12 and then at New Light from 4:30-7:30 every day and eventually it was taking a toll on my health and mental fortitude. Instead of doing one job well, I was spreading myself so thin that I was only able to do one well. Somedays I did Daya Dan better, and some days that was New Light. I didn't like that it had to be a decision, but I was kinda running on fumes by the end. 

Also, for reasons outside of my control, New Light became an environment that was more negative than positive for me to be around. This has been a hard decision for me to make and I cried when I told them I was leaving, but I know it’s for the best. I suck at listening to God… but luckily He knows that. When I pray to know His will, it is not uncommon for me to pray for doors to shut and I know that’s what has happened here. This will bring me more open doors, I know. In fact, there is a wonderful NGO in the

This little nugget made my first trip to
the slums great!

slums that I have visited several times with friends and I hope to now be able to give them more of my time soon. I ask for prayers about this, because it is so hard to change but it has been a HUGE learning experience and I know I am better now because of it.

So, pray that I remain strong for the last 5 months or so of me being here. Pray that I do not lose sight of love for those in need, that I am not selfish with my time, and that I am faithful in the small things. I have zero idea of what will happen in the next little bit, but that just means God does… and that’s better than any plan I could come up with anyway. 

Oh, and one last thing… while I was home I was able to talk to several churches and schools about the water project for the schools in Udaipur (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, click here). If I receive all the support that people promised me, I should have enough funds to install more water purification systems than I originally thought. It is too early in the game to put a number on them… but lets just say more than 4. So thanks guys for your support. This is about to be really cool.